Happy Mother's Day. The cover story of Time magazine Today’s cover story begins with the idea that while parents work hard to shape their offspring, their offspring often shape each other. Susan Dominus has written many moving articles about children and families, and they have studied an increasing field of research to understand how children’s personality “spills” on their siblings. This is not always the way you want to.
As the father of three boys (I am a sibling myself), I am very happy. You should read the story. In today's newsletter, I asked Susan a few questions about her findings.
What are you interested in this story?
My brother has a great influence in my own life. When I was 14, he was at home when he was resting in college, and he talked to me and opened a school newspaper. He knew somehow that I (which was done by my parents) the work I wanted to do. When I started interviewing people about their families that influence their lifestyle, I was shocked by the frequency of siblings playing a key role in their careers – in the introduction, providing key advice and setting the bar high.
You tell a few stories about high-scoring families. But, among privileges, this phenomenon is not necessarily the strongest, right?
not at all. If anything, research shows that the so-called “sibling spillover effect” (the degree to which siblings affect each other, especially academically) is stronger in adverse families. In these families, bonds may be more influential – siblings spend a lot of time together, either because their parents are busy with work or because the family has no resources to spend a lot of extracurricular activities.
My kids have very different personalities. Tell me what research on fertility psychology shows – your place among siblings shapes your ideas?
Most personality researchers will tell you that our qualities associated with birth order will not last in the best-guided study of the broadest sample. For example, the oldest child is not the most serious. They seem to be just like this, because as children, they are always the most developed. Compared to the general population, even compared to siblings of the same age, the oldest children are not extremely diligent or responsible.
As the first child, I rejected this discovery.
As the youngest child, I hug it.
But why do some studies say that more competitive athletes are younger siblings?
The study consistently demonstrates that firstborn children – with only a large number of abundant children, with only one brief window – have cognitive advantages among young siblings. (These studies also compare them to siblings who are of the same age.) Some researchers believe that young children will naturally tend to niches like sports to find areas that can conquer and call themselves.
One thing that shocked me is that even attentive, kind-hearted parents are sometimes judges of their own children.
Parents can evaluate which of their children is “academic” one, which is not actually an accurate assessment – affecting the child’s grades and the extracurricular choices these children make. They believe that siblings are more and more academically than others.
I will try to refuse judgment!
Good luck!
In addition to the sibling relationship, you can also introduce genetic determinants in the new book Family Dynamics, from which you can adapt to the story. What can genes tell us?
The binary idea of genes and environment is too simple. People’s genetic tendencies elicit responses from the world, thus shaping their personalities and outcomes. People’s genetic influences may also lead them to enter certain environments (if useful to them), thereby enhancing their natural tendencies. Parenting choices are suitable for all of these? The answer is: less than most parents think.
I suggest you read Susan's story About siblings and their shapes.
Latest news
India-Pakistan conflict
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Prince Harry's recent call for reconciliation with his family has resurfaced. Mark Landler wrote that it was a family rift that could define the rule of King Charles.
Sunday's debate
The True Identity Card Act was promulgated in 2005 to deal with the September 11 attack and finally came into effect. Is REAL ID still needed?
Yes. It standardizes the identification process across the country, making ID systems more secure. “There are no bad actors who issue these ID cards, and the system has not been penetrated by bad actors,” said Magdalena Krajewska of Wingate University's political science in an interview with WBUR'S Om tomp.
No. It hinders Americans’ right to travel within the U.S., thereby causing air travel barriers to the absence of trains or cars. “Those who comply with a real ID card have access to all modes of transportation, while those who do not or cannot comply are limited to fundamentally slow travel modes,” Patrick Eddington of the Cato Institute wrote for MSNBC.
From the opinion
Trump should adopt a “more” approach to reaching a nuclear deal with Iran, Philip Gordon Write: More sanctions relief in exchange for more restrictions on its nuclear program.
Shaina Feinberg's Friendship with director and actress Joan Darling gave her confidence to become a filmmaker and mother.
The following is a column Nicholas Kristof About why we shouldn't trust porn companies, and Maureen Dowd In Barry Diller's memoir.
believe: After his father's death, Jodi Rudoren tries to learn to pray. The rabbi suggested a simple recipe: “Wow! Thank you.”
Paris: The Baltimore newspaper “The African-American Correspondent” wrote a guide for the French capital. 75 years later, his grandson followed in his footsteps.
Your choice: The most picky link yesterday morning was a quiet life of a couple in upstate New York.
Yesterday's online trend: People are preparing for Mother's Day. Here are 25 questions that can bring you closer to your mom.
oath: These food lovers fell down to each other and bite people at once.
Life and life: Curator and head of the Museum of Art Koyo Kouoh is preparing to oversee next year's Venice Biennale. She was the first African woman to plan a festival. Kouoh died at the age of 57.
Books of the Week
Most likely, you've heard of it Percival Everett's “James”won the Pulitzer Prize for Novel on Monday. This vivid and surprising reimagining of “Huckleberry Finn” also won the National Book Award and the Kirkus Award. Finalist for the Booker Prize and National Book Critics Awards; and It was named one of the 10 best books of 2024 by Book Review. In other words, it's the “oppenheimer” of the book world, and there is good reason.
The winner of the Pulitzer General Nonfiction Award is also a prize that retains your radar. Benjamin Nathans' “To achieve the success of our desperate career” It records the Soviet dissident movement, which can be traced back to the death of Stalin and the rise of Khrushchev in the 1950s. Based on twenty years of research on kgb case files, unpublished diaries and private letters, the book sheds light on a powerful legacy.
More information about books
Interview
The topic of this week's interview was Whitney Wolfe Herd, the founder of Bumble, who returned to run the company she founded a year later. It’s a tough time in the dating app industry, a tough time with relationships and a tough time for tech women. We talked about everything.
During the pandemic, you're growing a lot when everyone is stuck on their app. You are public in 2021, ringing the bell, and the baby on the hips, and the user growth will start to slow down next year. What do you think is happening?
mine Viewpoint It was me who ran this company in the first few years as a method of quality over quantity. A telephone provider came to us early. They said, “We love your brand, we want to pre-program your app on all our phones, and when people buy our phones, your app will be on the home screen and you will get millions of free downloads.” I said, “Thank you very much, but no, thank you.” No one can understand what I’m doing, I say it’s a wrong way to grow up.
This is not a social network, it is a two-sided market. One keeps moving forward and they have to meet the people associated with them. You don't walk along the streets of New York City, nor do you want to see everyone you pass by. Why are you assuming someone wants to do this on an application? In the pandemic and other chapters, what happened was the king. All of this is hailed as all.
You're talking about investors' expectations, which is one of the reasons for a tough time, but Gen Z grew up in apps and data says they've surpassed those apps. 79% reported dating app fatigue.
I think the reason Gen Z gave up on apps is because they are using those apps and they don't see the people they want to see, they feel two things, and I'm fully responsible for that on Bumble. They feel rejected, they feel judged.
In this week’s five weekend dishes newsletter, Emily Weinstein recommends making pork chops with Jammy-Musstard glaze, rich butter panes, and a thin plate of salmon and broccoli, perfect for a busy night.
